|Update on my pregnancy
||[Oct. 10th, 2005|07:35 pm]
Well lastnight, i noticed dark blood when i went to wipe after going to the toilet, so my sister came over to watch the boys while, Mark and i went to the ER!! We were there for 3 hours all up and the bleeding slowed down, they did a blood test to check my hsG levels and at 8 weeks your levels should be well over 1,000 and thats what they were last week at my appointment, sadly they had dropped to a not so normal level. They did a u/s and i asked if i could hear the hear the heartbeat at 8 weeks and 3 days along, they told me that i should be able to, they looked for 5 minutes and NO heartbeat. I went to the toilet after another hour of being there and the bleeding had started again and i passed a clot ( Sorry TMI ), i knew then that this wasnt good.
I told them that if this was a start of a miscarriage then i want to do this natrually, no other procedures. They told me to come back on wenesday so they can do more tests, probaly to check my levels again and do a u/s to see if the sack is empty or what.
At the moment, i'm so depressed. I layed in bed all day. Mark took Liam to preschool and Jordan to my parents house. What is said is, this morning, Liam knocked on the bedroom door, and i didnt even get up to open the door, i just layed there and cried. I knew that he wanted to give me a kiss and cuddle before heading to preschool but i couldnt get myself motivated to get up! I heard Mark say ' Mummy loves you and Jordan, she's hurting at the moment, she needs time ' and then i heard Liam say ' Mummys upset about the baby, isnt she?! ' how did he know? Its like he can feel it or something.
The cramps are awful. I just want this to be over, so i can move on ya know? Sadiest thing is, i got use to the fact that i was pregnant and was so excited about having another baby, also i got use to the fact that i'd be 22 and have 3 kids... And its been ripped away from me.
It will get better i know. Its just so hard at the moment.